I can't believe I guilt-tripped myself out of that last push! Actually, in all honesty, I have no idea what came over me that evening. I actually wrote that diatribe right after the kills on D4 - as soon as L_P and Rats were hit, I knew that I'd be in the crosshairs and that if I didn't put up one hell of a defence, that would have been it. When I posted it on that first evening... I can't describe it, it was almost like some kind of manic phase. I just couldn't stop myself - I felt so reckless that I was ready to shoot down any argument on principle. (Hell, I even felt cocky enough to slip in a Man's Not Hot reference!)
By the next day, when I came back to the game ("thunderdome it is"), I had calmed down a little, but still stood behind my convictions. The trouble is, though, in the silence that followed, I lost my nerve. I knew that Sawneeks was my top suspect, but... I just couldn't put my finger on why. Then came the moment that I realised that the longer I kept up that act, the more chance there was of someone dropping a vote on me out of frustration and getting me turboed. If I'd been hit because I'd made typical mistakes or down to scheming that would have been one thing, but the thought that I could have cost town the came because I'd made an arse out of myself? I just couldn't live with that.
I think I've learned a lot from playing this game. I'd certainly be up for another game some time - it might not be for a little while, though, as I'll be starting a new job in the new year. (I actually got the offer on D1 just before I made that daft accusation towards Terra, so I was probably on a bit of a rush at the time - sorry, Terra!) I'll try and spec a couple of games to get some practice, then once I know that I'll be able to commit the time - I'll be going back to a full-time role after a year of charity volunteering - I'd love to join you all again.